2019 is a much unexpected year. I felt lost at a point with too many turn arounds that I am actually incapable to handle.
Right now is the Saturday right after Thanksgiving. I’m sitting in a cafe in south Boston, in front of fire, with summer fruit herb tea and salad, my little notebooks and shiny new 16” MacBook Pro. Nice relaxing cool Christmas music. Still feel drained from the burnout before holiday. But I can think normally, now.
To not be shy, I feel like thank myself.. (I do thanked everybody else in Thanksgiving). 2019 is the year I “confront” my passion for painterly animation. I took serious actions to be a good researcher. Animation is such an unlimited realm that what’s out there in the market is just a touch of a tiny point. The old saying.. the more I know, the more stupid I feel I am. I know so little. My perspective of animation creation is changing . As I study more animations, I realized my initial vision becomes a question: I’m not sure if it’s possible to democratize animation creation with formulas. Or, more accurately, I’m not sure if I am willing to democratize animation creation. Largely because, the creation process by itself is simply beautiful. It’s always changing. Inspirations come from nowhere. Would a formula catch such dynamics that has a lot unknowns? Would any formula give the experience and feeling of crafting an animation? Maybe I will know when we finish the short film.
The short film keeps changing so much that I am excited and tired to a point that I don’t want to look at it. Yet, there’re still a lot work. I think at this point I can’t afford any waste of time and energy for anything but finishing this film. I don’t know when would it be finished. I think actually it’s possible to estimate the amount of work with detailed script, character design, character relationships, and art directions. Even that we’re working with another studio, we still must know the transformation between script and production. Still haven’t done open sourcing sky rendering.. O_O
I’ve been concerned about my visa status; whether to move back China. I miss China.. Everything, so much. But right now, the film is No. 1. So many distractions so many pulling away that I also feel tired to focus.
I hope 2020 would be more stable. Things to keep up:
I never know how this fucking world works and how the fuck people communicate.
This drives me to nuts.
Write a song
Put a smile
Play the guitar
In the sun
一滴 两滴 三滴
Even in research community, innovation falls off when researchers follow pattern without questioning to root.
More exciting is perhaps in, where raw creativity come out. It doesn’t necessarily fully come from research papers.
Bearing cross on the back
The shining star in heart
Cry it out
Leaving pure and tenderness
Which one is more important?
Story after story, or theory.
Story is suggestive, infinite.
Theory, could be infinite, guards the way for expressing the story